First things first – my experiences with modafinil are my own, and may be very different from yours. If you need psychological help, see your doctor.
My mind is always racing, and for me, this is a good thing. I use my mind to make my living. My problem, though, comes down to two things: concentration and motivation.
When I think about it, I really have no idea why concentration and motivation are my issue. I used to not have problems assimilating and acting on information. I’m sure part of it has to do with my overly sensitive personality, and much of it has to do with the sheer amount of information that’s available at our fingertips these days. This is obviously a problem when I have a job that requires me to assimilate large amounts of complex information to make decisions.
I will post more about my first encounters with concentration issues related to (because of?) panic attacks at another time here on the site. I want to share, though, my experiences the first time I tried adderall. I had been talking to one of my friends from another lab down the hallway. She was diagnosed with chronic fatigue, and gave me a pill to try out. As you can imagine, I had an insanely productive day. The only problem is it left me exhausted. I told my boss at the lab (she was actually an expert in psychoactive substances), and she said of course you had a good day you took speed! So, I quickly learned that adderall wasn’t for me.
Fast forward about 10 years, when I have having a particularly hard time at work. I was exhausted, anxious, and couldn’t concentrate or getting stuff done. I talked with my long-time psychiatrist, and she prescribed modafinil (Provigil), calling it “adderall lite”.
My first day on the pill felt something like this: I woke up, had breakfast and coffee, took my pill, and within 30 minutes I was off to the freaking races. I was actually able to get s*** done at work. Do you know those little tasks that you never want to do at work? They sit there, pile up, and are a constant pain. I checked off one of those tasks after another.
In the days that followed, I felt myself more motivated, less sleepy, and a less anxious. I quickly learned that all of these issues are connected…For me, information overload leads to anxiety/depression, which leads to a complete mental shutdown where I can’t get anything finished. Of course, not getting anything finished just leads to more anxiety/depression, and the cycle continues. I see modafinil as my own personal motivator – I get stuff done, and the nasty cycle of anxiety/depression leading to information overload and mental shutdown is a thing of the past.
I would love to hear about your experiences with the drug in the comments below.